The recent vote in Maine reminds me how far we have to go in marriage equality. I don’t get it, I really don’t. I don’t think a gay marriage would cheapen my own marriage in any way, and I think that justification is malarkey, quite frankly. It doesn’t compute, it’s not logical, and it’s downright mean.
Mike and I want to do something to show our support of marriage equality in our own wedding somehow. But how? We thought about making donations to an appropriate organization in our guests’ names as favors, but with the very tiny portion of our budget dedicated to favors, this is impossible.
We considered putting a note in our programs, but we’re not having programs, so that doesn’t work. We talked about working it into the ceremony, maybe having our officiant mention it somehow, but we don’t know how to do this unawkwardly (why is that not a word?). Also, we don’t want to be preachy. I hate when weddings conducted by religious officials (which ours will not be) turn into preachy sermons.
All of our wedding guests are pretty decided in regards to their beliefs on gay marriage, so I’m not trying to use our wedding as a platform for conversion. Rather, I just want to acknowledge our support of marriage equality and somehow demonstrate that we know how fortunate we are to have been born with sexual preferences that allow us this right that is denied so many others. In our personal lives we will continue to support the fight, but we know nobody’s going to change their mind at our wedding, so that’s not the goal.
Do you have any suggestions? I’ve been searching for good ideas and nothing seems quite right. Did you do something like this at your wedding? Would you?
Give us your ideas. Please!
Please share if you think of something. I have a lot of extremely socially conservative relatives (who I do love and care about, despite our opposite stances on most issues I find important). I don’t want to be too “In yo’ FACE!” about my opinions, but I really don’t want to pretend that everything is OK with the current marriage laws.
I feel so uncomfortable talking about wedding stuff in front of my gay friends and coworkers. I know they are happy for us, but I feel like I’m highlighting a situation that is illogical and unfair. I almost feel guilty for not waiting to get married until *everyone* can get married. Am I sitting at the front of the bus talking about how bad discrimination is? I honestly don’t know.
I’ve thought about that too. I’m not engaged or anything, but I’ve considered these things. I want to know if you come up with good idea… I agree with you on the stuff you’ve already said.. awkwardness, not changing anyone’s minds, favors, etc. Ugh. Such a difficult thing.
Maybe by the time I get married there WILL be equality!
My friends got married a few months ago & they gave a small shout out at their reception/. It was simple & non-confrontational (something like “We would just like to acknowledge our hope that all couples who love each other and wish to marry will soon able to legally do so”). No one said anything about it (well, nothing negative) and it got their point across.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this — and wanting to share your day to recognize “love” (in any and all forms it takes). This is a cause very, very close to my heart, and I’d love to hear how you decide to recognize and include everyone on your super-special day.
Perhaps the bride and groom and members of the wedding party can wear a “breast cancer type” ribbon. People who are interested will ask you or other guests what the ribbon means and that way word can be spread without there being some formal announcement or sermon about it.
CaliSlim, I kind of love this idea! Subtle yet informative. Hmm… definitely considering this option. Thanks!
[…] November 13, 2009 by Shannon After thinking, talking and considering suggestions, we have two ideas for how to recognize our support of marriage equality at our wedding. See the background story here. […]
[…] support of marriage equality at our wedding. As you may recall, when we tackled this issue before (a few times), we were throwing around a bunch of possible ideas. From ribbons to favor tags, from […]