What’s this? Another option?

Last night Mike and I went to yet another adoption meeting. For those of you not interested in the adoption stuff, this is probably getting old. But for those of you who are interested, last night went really well, mostly because we discovered there is a third option. Before I explain what I mean, I should say the meeting was at Great Hopes Family Services, a small agency that I didn’t even know about until recently. I thought we had exhausted our options, but decided to do one last google search and came upon Greater Hopes. I was a little suspicious of an agency so small, but we want to be aware of all the options, so we registered for the meeting.

This meeting was unlike any we have been to yet. There was a lot of the same information, all the stuff child placing agencies are required to share, but the format was different. The presenter was the founder of the organization, and she was incredibly passionate about her work. There was no formal presentation, and I felt more like I was among friends than at any other meeting. Mike says he has mixed feelings about the agency, mostly because it was different than any other and he’s not sure what to make of that. But I think I love it.

I love their philosophy, which is basically to do good and to find good homes for children. I love their stance on religion, which came up for all of three seconds during she explained that they are founded on the most basic tenant of Christianity — to love each other — but that religion is not a requirement nor a barrier. I love their passion. It’s clear they are not in this “business” for any other reason but to support people who can’t parent their children and find those children homes with families who can parent them. There are no shiny bells and whistles, and they keep costs low so that finances are never the reason an adoption can’t happen.

So that’s where the third option comes in: an affordable adoption of an infant or younger child. After several other meetings, we had concluded that we had two options:

1) Spend A LOT of money to adopt an infant.
2) Adopt an older child through the foster care system at essentially no cost.

Option one didn’t make sense because we didn’t want to go broke to have a child when there are pleny of children we could adopt with little expense. Option two sounded better, and it still does, but we still feel somewhat ill-equipped to go from zero children to one or more older children. We discussed it with my family over the holidays, and we realized that we are pulled toward adoption, but with no official parenting experience, taking on one or more children who might even be school-aged, is a huge challenge! Not that we were turning away, we just knew we had to do a lot to get prepared. And that’s where we were at when we walked into Greater Hopes.

Now we discover this third possibility. Maybe we can adopt an infant or toddler at affordable costs. This agency’s fees are HALF of what every other infant-placing agency’s has been. When we questioned that, the director said that they make their fees equal to the amount of the federal adoption tax credit so that for adoptive parents, it’s basically a wash. You pay the agency X amount so they can keep their doors open, and then you recoup X amount through the tax credit. The agency can continue to operate and make matches, and the parents come out financially even. It’s kind of brilliant.

Of course, the lower costs mean that they can’t offer all the services that a place like Bethany does, but what I pointed out is that Bethany’s fees are twice as much because within those fees, you’re paying for a variety of services. With Greater Hopes you pay the agency less, and if you need specific services, you pay someone else. Honestly, I think it’s a better system. For us at least.

As promised, our thoughts and ideas about this are always changing. Now that we know it can be affordable to adopt an infant, and that, according to Greater Hopes, there is a need for adoptive parents of infants, we are considering that as an option. My idea was that we pursue infant adoption through Greater Hopes, get some parenting experience, and when the time is right, look into the adoption of an older child or children. I still feel very drawn to that need, and maybe the right time is now, maybe the right time will be later.

Who knows. We still have a lot of thinking to do before any next steps are made. But it sure was nice to have such a positive experience at an adoption meeting.

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